It is August. In a small town on the South Coast of France, holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too much business happening. Everyone is heavily in debt. Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the foyer of the small local hotel. He asks for a room and puts a Euro100 note on the reception counter, takes a key and goes to inspect the room located up the stairs on the third floor.

The hotel owner takes the banknote in a hurry and rushes to his meat supplier to whom he owes E100. The butcher takes the money and races to his supplier to pay his debt. The wholesaler rushes to the farmer to pay E100 for pigs he purchased some time ago. The farmer triumphantly gives the E100 note to a local prostitute who gave him her services on credit. The prostitute goes quickly to the hotel, as she owed the hotel for her hourly room use to entertain clients. 

 At that moment, the rich Russian is coming down to reception and > informs the hotel owner that the proposed room is unsatisfactory and takes his E100 back and departs.

There was no profit or income. But everyone no longer has any debt and the small town people look optimistically towards their future. 

 A solution to the Global Financial Crisis?

Leak's In Vogue

Seeing how leeks and leaks are in vogue in Malta right now. Here’s a taster of a cartoon in the UK on an absolutely unrelated issue.

LEAD PIRATE:
Full speed ahead, Mr. Cohen!

CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium. Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
Scribble away!
CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
And balance the books.
CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
Scribble away!
CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
But manage the books.
CHORUS:
Up, up, up.

PIRATES:
It’s fun to charter an accountant
And sail the wide accountancy,
To find, explore the funds offshore
And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy!

It can be manly in insurance.
We’ll up your premium semi-annually.
It’s all tax deductible.
We’re fairly incorruptible,
We’re sailing on the wide accountancy!

LEAD PIRATE:
Oh, this is fun, Mr. Cohen!
PIRATE:
Sail away!…
CHORUS:
Up, up, up…
LEAD PIRATE:
Fetch me another exotic salute. To port! Bring her port to shell out! And the medium guys shell out to port! Balance the books! Bring me another small shellfish, Mr. Cohen…

accntsh.mp3

Stagnola

(Le Luci della Centrale Elettrica)

Non mi ero pettinato abbastanza per vederti
per non far piangere i tuoi salici piangenti
e ci piscino pure addoso gli angeli
e i conoscenti morti negli incidenti

che non capisci gli incubi dei pesci rossi
e non capisci gli incubi dei pesci rossi

passeresti ancora ore a pettinarmi le vene
parlandomi d’amore e di metadone
in televisione niente di speciale
dal naso colano le sere
corrono verso l’ospedale maggiore

e un pò di carta stagnola per addobbare a festa questa stanza di merda

e chiudi lo schrigno dei tumori,e i tuoi 40 cuori
circondati di marciapiedi di quartieri industriali
e apri lo schrigno dei preservativi troppo costosi
ed i tuoi minuscoli seni

che non capisci gli incubi dei pesci rossi
e non capisci gli incubi dei pesci rossi

e ci piscino pure addoso gli angeli
e i conoscenti morti negli incidenti

e ci piscino pure addoso gli angeli
e i conoscenti morti negli incidenti stradali

e ci piscino pure addoso gli angeli
e i conoscenti morti negli incidenti stradali

e chiudi lo schrigno dei tumori,e i tuoi 40 cuori
circondati di marciapiedi di quartieri industriali
e apri lo schrigno dei preservativi troppo costosi
ed i tuoi minuscoli seni

e chiudi lo schrigno dei tumori,e i tuoi 40 cuori
circondati di marciapiedi di quartieri industriali
e apri lo schrigno dei preservativi troppo costosi
ed i tuoi minuscoli seni

(musica)

Cliccate qui per godere il video

I never thought I would say this but I’ve just discovered a Finnish band that rocks. They’re called The Dø and they’re fantastic. Their My Space page describes them as a Folk Rock band, although I’m not too sure about the way music is classified these days.The band’s vocals are provided by Olivia B. Merilahti who combines a mysterious tone with a lovely accent. Every song is an exercise in exploration if you like stuff that can be described as “weird” – though it is probably more politically correct to call it alternative. Rush off to iTunes now and buy The Dø – because they’re worth it. From the childish tune of Playground Hustle to the ultrasexy On My Shoulders to the indecipherable Unissasi Laulelet – it’s fun feeling like a kid with a new toy all over again.

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors/tourists. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, How do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first